Sorry I haven't updated since thursday. I had a really bad day yesterday. I had a huge argument with my mum, which just made me so upset tand the rest of the day was just shocking.
I didn't get up yesterday morning, i just felt so exhausted. I needed to have my hair straightened but needed someone to do it for me. Mum was going to do it, but when she came around, I was in a foul mood. Very frustrated and not in the mood for feeling ill again. She told me to stop stropping or she would go home, so i told her to go home! She did and we didn't talk all day. I went back to bed a cried all morning. I felt so angry, upset and mad that I had got myself into such a state.
Although trying to explain how you feel to a none pain ill person is like trying to explain sea sickness to someone who has never been on a boat! Making myself clear is the hardest thing for me, especially to my family. I always do it in a backwards horrible way, usually ending in an argument.
Anyway, I apologised for my shocking behaviour and now all is well on the family front.
I've decided that my next challenge is how to cope on my own with May. It's not so bad at home because she's very indepentant, but getting to and from the car is a nightmare. Lifting in and out, bags and the kitchen sink. I don't want to wish her age away, but I can't wait till I can say to her 'May, get in the car!'.
Today has been a better day, i've actually been out this morning! First time in 5 days. Hopefully on the right track. I've got things planned this week, like housework and dentist on Tuesday! I've just got to remember not to do too much or i'll over do it again and be back to squre one.
I can't believe it is saturday already, where does time go?
p.s I don't have spell check on my mac so i am sorry!
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My sympathy to you - arguments with your closest family are the worst ever, particularly when you're feeling awful already.
ReplyDelete*quote*Although trying to explain how you feel to a none pain ill person is like trying to explain sea sickness to someone who has never been on a boat!*/quote*
Well said, it's pretty much impossible. No one has any notion of what it is like to be in pain all the time or debilitated, until it happens. I like to think that in that sense my wonky joints are almost a blessing - they've opened me up to a whole world of disability to which I was previously ignorant, meaning I can be a better person and educate people from my experience. Of course, I'm a bit of a martyr sometimes... ;)
But, at the same time as it being immensely frustrating that no one gets it, one has to bear in mind that it's not really their fault that they can't comprehend it, and seeing a loved one in pain is pretty hard for them too.
Doesn't make it any easier to deal with though. :(
-hug-